Why Valentine’s Day Will Never Be The Same For Me
By: Brad Pedersen
A Night in New York That Changed Everything
Can you remember the most memorable Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had? What made it so special? Maybe it was a romantic surprise, an unforgettable trip, or just a simple but meaningful moment with someone you love.
For me, Valentine’s Day in 2016 will forever stand out—not because of flowers, chocolates, or candlelit dinners, but because of the kindness of a friend during one of the darkest moments of my life.
That year, my wife Kelly and I found ourselves in New York City at a restaurant in the Flatiron Building. But we hadn’t planned the evening, nor did we pay for the meal. It was a gift—an act of compassion from a good friend who knew that we needed a moment of light in the midst of an overwhelming storm.
Before I share why the meal was so significant, I need to tell you about Elise.
Elise: A Bright Light in Our Lives
Elise was the Vice President of Marketing for our toy company. She wasn’t just an employee; she was a force of nature—full of energy, ideas, and an adventurous spirit that inspired everyone around her.
Before joining our team, Elise had built a successful career in the toy industry, having experience working with incredible companies such as Hasbro and Spin Master. She had a sharp mind for both brand management and performance marketing, and she had climbed the corporate ladder with remarkable success.
However, that is when she did something unexpected. She left the traditional corporate world behind, moving with her husband and daughter to Boulder, Colorado. She wasn’t chasing promotions or bigger paychecks—she was chasing the life design she wanted.
You see Elise and her husband Drew were outdoor enthusiasts and Boulder gave them the perfect playground for their active lifestyle. When we hired her we knew it was under the condition that she remained in Boulder, and we were ok with it as our philosophy was always to hire the best talent irrespective of where they lived. It was clear she had found the right balance—thriving in both her professional and personal life.
She wasn’t just brilliant at her job; she also lived boldly, embracing experiences and challenges that most people would hesitate to take on. She wasn’t afraid of hard work or pushing herself beyond her comfort zone. The evidence of that is in the picture above where she joined me and a colleague on an impromptu ultramarathon training run, in the mountains of Hong Kong.
A Tragic Loss in New York
New York City and the toy industry have always been deeply connected. For decades, it was home to the Toy Building, legendary stores like FAO Schwarz, and the annual Jacob Javits Toy Fair—a massive event where industry professionals gathered to showcase the latest innovations.
It was a blustery winter day—February 12th, just two days before Valentine’s Day. Our team was busy preparing for the trade event, setting up our showroom and finalizing schedules for presentations. That morning, Elise had breakfast with some of her colleagues before heading to the Jacob Javits Center, just a few blocks from her hotel.
She never made it.
While crossing Eleventh Avenue, bundled up against the snow and wind, she was struck and killed by a large dump truck. One moment, she was full of life—heading to the showroom, probably thinking about the projects ahead.
The next moment, she was gone.
The shock was unbearable. A bright light had been extinguished in an instant. Worse still, Elise’s husband and young daughter were at home in Boulder, expecting her to return home in only a few days. Instead, I had to make the most difficult phone call of my career and within a few hours they were on a flight to New York.
Wrestling with the “What Ifs”
In the days and months that followed, I found myself replaying that morning over and over again.
What if she had left five minutes later?
What if she had crossed at a different intersection?
What if, what if, what if…
But no amount of questioning could change what had happened. There was nothing more to explain other than it was just a terrible tragedy.
However as I reflected on her and how she had lived her life, what I came to appreciate, was that Elise had lived her life with a rare sense of clarity and intention. She wasn’t just focused on career success—she was focused on whole life success—what truly mattered. She had chosen to prioritize experiences over titles, adventure over comfort, and memories over money.
She understood something that many people don’t realize until it’s too late: At the end of our lives, we won’t measure our success by how much money we made, but by the depth of our experiences and the relationships we have nurtured.
The Kindness of a Friend
That’s where my friend Chris comes into the story.
Kelly and I were shattered. The grief was crushing, made even heavier by the responsibility of hosting an industry event while leading a heartbroken team. Chris was not in New York but rather in Chicago when he got word of what had happened. He sensed our pain, and that is where he chose to step in with an act of kindness that I will always remember.
On Valentine’s Day, he arranged for a private car to pick us up and take us to a beautiful and quiet restaurant. It was an evening we hadn’t asked for but it was a break from the chaos that we desperately needed.
For a few hours, we were able to step out of the storm of grief and just be. We didn’t have to worry about making plans or covering the bill. We simply sat together, processing the heartbreak, leaning on each other, and feeling the love and kindness of a friend who knew exactly what we needed at that moment.
Love Beyond Romance
Most people think of Valentine’s Day as a celebration of romance. And while love between partners is beautiful, the love that has the power to sustain us through life’s darkest moments is something much deeper.
It’s the love of friends who stand by you when you feel like you’re falling apart.
It’s the love of family who accept you as you are, that reminds you of what’s truly important.
It’s the love of those who help carry your burdens when they become too heavy to bear alone.
Since that night, Valentine’s Day has never been the same for me. Every year, I find myself reflecting on Elise’s life and the impact she made in the all too short time we had with her. I think about the way she lived, the values she embodied, the memories we created together and the family that she left behind.
And I think about Chris—the friend who reminded me that love isn’t just about romance. It’s about showing up for people with kindness and compassion when they need it the most.
A Final Thought
Elise’s story serves as a reminder that life is fleeting. None of us know how much time we have, we are a heartbeat away from eternity. But we do have a choice every day in how we invest it.
Are we chasing things that won’t really matter in the end? Or are we investing in what will truly last—meaningful work that makes the most of your skills and talents; rich experiences and deeper connections with those you love; and knowing that through stewarding your resources they have served as a force for good.
These are all signs of a life well-lived!
As Thomas Campbell once said, “To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.” I know this is true, because while Elise may no longer be with us, the impact she made based on how she lived her life has inspired me and has shown up in this newsletter.
It is now 9 years later, and this Valentines Day like every Valentine’s Day since, I pause. I reflect. And I remind myself to live in a way that honors the lessons she taught us—not just by words, but by example....by choosing to challenge the status quo and have the courage to live each day like it could be our last. To choose to be brave and to live life full out!
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