Why I was so anxious for so long…and what saved me

Written By: Brad Pedersen

For most of my business life, I lived in a constant state of anxiety. Even when I achieved success, I couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that it could all vanish in an instant.

On the surface, I justified it as what Jim Collins refers to as productive paranoia. I believed staying alert and prepared would protect me from future failure.  

However if I’m being honest, most of my anxiety came from something deeper: the trauma of my first business going bankrupt. That failure left scars. It planted seeds of self doubt and fear that had subversively sabotaged my belief system.

Finding Freedom (Or So I Thought)

The picture taken above was shortly after my first business exit in 2018.  At first, I experienced peace. I felt free, as if the weight of years of stress had been lifted. This was the dream I had chased for so long—a life where I could live on my terms, make my own choices, and enjoy the freedom I worked so hard to achieve.

After a few months, of basking in the light of what every founder dreams of, something strange happened: the peace I initially enjoyed began to fade. Anxiety crept back in, slowly at first, then with force. 

I started questioning myself:

• Was I really worthy of the success I achieved?
• Was I just lucky?
• Could I keep up with the rapid changes happening in the world?
• If I tried again, would I fail?

The Great Paradox of Our Time

We live in an incredible time in history. By almost every measure, life has never been better:

• The average person has more resources than ever before.
• Poverty has decreased.
• Education is more accessible.
• Communication and Information is ever present.

If you described today’s world to our forefathers, they’d think we’d created a utopia.  And yet, we face a strange paradox. Despite all this abundance, we’ve never been more anxious, depressed, or unhealthy:

• Mental health challenges are at an all-time high.
• Obesity is a growing problem.
• Addictions—whether to substances, screens, or work—are everywhere.

How can this be? How can we have so much and yet feel so empty?

Why We Struggle in a World of Abundance

As humans we thrive under three conditions:

1. Clarity – Knowing what’s ahead.
2. Simplicity – Avoiding unnecessary complications.
3. Certainty – Feeling secure about the future.

Here's the problem: Our modern world is the opposite. The pace of change has the sands beneath our feet shifting and this has resulted in:  

• Ambiguity – It’s hard to predict what’s next.
• Complexity – There are endless options which feel overwhelming and confusing. 
• Uncertainty – There are few guarantees anymore.

These factors have become the dry kindling that has gone on to ignite and fuel a debilitating epidemic of anxiety, excess, and addiction.

Fear Is a Powerful Motivator

Fear is the easy choice. It’s instinctual, immediate, and doesn’t ask much of us. Fear tries to protect us, but as a default behavior also keeps us small. 

Fear leads to:

• Overworking because we’re afraid of failing or not being worthy.
• Overeating because we’re afraid of discomfort or wanting to numb out.
• Overthinking because we’re afraid of making the wrong choice.

Hope Requires Intention

Unlike fear, hope doesn’t come automatically. Hope is aspirational. It asks us to take risks, get comfortable stepping into the unknown, and to believe in something better. Hope requires us to focus on what’s possible for the future, not what’s wrong with today.

But here’s the truth: It is simple, it is just not easy.  It is a choice which requires us to push past our natural and instinctual default of fear.  And the first step to choosing hope is to embrace gratitude.

The Power of Gratitude

For us to feel hopeful it requires us to have an abundance mindset whereas fear has us focus on scarcity. There is nothing more powerful to illicit abundant thinking than to focus on what you are grateful for. Gratitude is truly the foundational piece necessary to help us imagine a better future, which inspires hope. 

According to Greg McKeown "When you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. When you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack." It is an important reminder that for us to live out the best expression of ourselves, we need to ensure that we start with counting or blessings. 

Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges. It means recognizing the good even amidst the struggles.

For me, practicing gratitude has been life-changing. When I feel anxiety creeping in, I take a moment to reflect on what I’m grateful for:

• The freedom I enjoy by living at this time in history. 
• The people who have supported me along the way.
• The opportunities I have now, not just the ones I’ve lost.

How to Choose Hope Every Day

What I’ve learned is that choosing hope isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a daily practice. Just like brushing your teeth or taking a shower, it requires consistent effort. We need to build habits that remind us of our blessings, fostering an abundant mindset that opens the door to imagining a brighter, more hopeful future.

Here are three simple steps to start:

1. Begin with gratitude: Every morning, write down three things you’re grateful for. It could be as small as the warmth of your coffee or as big as the love you experience amongst your friends and family.
2. Focus on what you can control: The world may be chaotic, but you don’t have to be. There are four things within your control: your thoughts, your words, your emotions, and your actions. If something is outside your control, let it go. 
3. Surround yourself with hope: Invest time with people who inspire you. Read books or listen to podcasts that uplift you and remove the fear-driven new from your feed.

Moving Forward

As humans we are seeking fulfillment in our lives.  I believe this comes when we are engaged in meaningful work, use our resources as a force for good and develop deeper connections with people who matter.  However we cannot achieve any of this as long as we live in a state of fear.

While we live in a world of abundance, it is also rapidly changing and as a result it is easy to feel overwhelmed.  We desperately crave simplicity, clarity and certainty however in the time we live, those seem elusive. This explains why despite the abundance all around us we see a growing epidemic of fear and anxiety

The antidote is hope, and it all starts with gratitude.

So what are you grateful for today?

Take a moment to pause, reflect.

Choose hope. Your best life is waiting—but it begins with a choice. 

Will you choose fear, or will you choose hope?

Brad Pedersen

Vijay Krishnan

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