The Ultimate Gift To Yourself 🎁
Do you find yourself feeling unsatisfied while in the pursuit of chasing more?
In life, we often chase "more"—more success, more possessions, more validation because our beliefs tell us when we have “more” we will be happy. On my journey I have often found myself spinning on the hedonic treadmill of pursuing more. However a pivotal experience in Jamaica taught me that true fulfillment lies not in what we gain, but rather in how we give.
Written by Brad Pedersen
When I finished high school, I wasn’t ready to go to college yet, but I wanted to try something new. My dad told me about Youth With A Mission (YWAM), a program where you can travel, help others, and meet people from all around the world.
It sounded like the perfect distraction and adventure that I was looking for.
After training at a base near the Canadian Rockies, my group chose Jamaica as our outreach destination. I was thrilled—visions of tropical beaches and what I thought would be an exotic vacation filled my mind.
But the reality of what we would experience on our trip was far from what I expected.
When we arrived, instead of being near pristine resorts, we were placed in the heart of the island. We ended up spending much of our time in Kingston’s inner city, a place vastly different from the Canada I knew. We were warned to be very aware of where we were going as at that time it had one of the highest murder rates in the world.
Instead of lounging on beaches, our days were spent working in communities, schools, and churches being of service to people and organizations in need. It was challenging, uncomfortable, and humbling—and the experience would fundamentally change the way I viewed my life.
The Lessons That Shifted My Perspective
Looking back and reflecting on the outreach it had a profound impact on my world views in three ways:
- Gratitude for What I Have
Growing up in Canada, I took my freedom and prosperity for granted. It wasn’t until I saw the conditions others lived in—limited resources, restricted opportunities, and daily struggles—that I truly understood how fortunate I was. Being born into a country with such stability and privilege was, in many ways, the luckiest break of my life.
- Faith in Action
Living in Canada, I had always known certainty. There was food on the table, a roof over my head, and a predictable routine. However our experience in Jamaica was very different. We had a general plan for the trip but much of it was filled with significant uncertainty and ambiguity. On a daily basis we leaned on faith as we navigated where we would go, where we would stay, or even what we would eat. Witnessing small but profound miracles in the midst of such unpredictability deepened my belief that a Divine power was co-creating the adventure we were experiencing.
- The Power of Giving
Up until that point, my life was centered on acquisition and consumption—what I could personally acquire, achieve, and enjoy. I had heard nice platitudes on the importance of giving. However, until that point, nothing had prepared me for what I would then discover, which is the soulful satisfaction I felt when I selflessly gave of myself for the benefit of others. To my surprise, what I discovered is that the joy of giving, of making a difference in someone’s life and peering into their eyes filled with gratitude, was far greater than anything I had ever received.
These lessons didn’t just shape my understanding of the world; they planted a seed of purpose that would begin to grow over the course of my life.
Ken Behring’s Four Stages of Life
Ken Behring is a successful businessman, philanthropist, and former owner of the Seattle Seahawks. After amassing an incredible fortune over his career, he discovered the real purpose of his life in creating the Wheelchair Foundation.
This humanitarian initiative was a result of a powerful moment that deeply impacted him. While on a trip to Vietnam, he met a man, who had crawled on the ground his entire life. Ken helped him into a new wheel chair and the man cried with joy after receiving the gift. This encounter revealed to Ken, the life-changing impact mobility could bring—restoring dignity, independence, and hope.
Inspired by the overwhelming need, Behring established the foundation to provide free wheelchairs to millions in need. He was moved to make a meaningful and lasting difference in the lives of those without mobility.
As a part of his awakening, Ken developed a framework for explaining the four stages of his life.
- More
The first stage is about acquisition—securing the basics and then striving for more. For Behring, this phase involved pursuing the material things he lacked as a young man: a car, a house, and having decent clothes.
- Better
After obtaining the basics, the focus shifts to improving quality. Behring pursued better versions of what he already had—a nicer car, a more luxurious house, and finer things.
The phase parallels the expectations many of us face to "level up" in life as we try to keep up with the proverbial Joneses—bigger, better and more impressive achievements.
- Different
In the third stage, individuals seek differentiation—something unique that sets them apart. For Behring, this meant buying the Seattle Seahawks, a move that reflected a desire for prestige, power and what he believed would result in significance.
- Purpose
The final stage is where true fulfillment is found: living a life of purpose by contributing to helping others. Behring experienced true joy in making a difference in the lives of others who did not have the ability to help themselves. This led him on a journey that would result in him directly impacting the lives of millions.
Connecting the Dots: From Ambition to Purpose
Both Behring’s journey and my experience in Jamaica reflect a universal truth: the path to a meaningful life is a progression from self-focused ambition to outward-focused purpose. While the early stages of “more,” “better,” and “different” are a natural part of shaping our life, they are mere stepping stones rather than the final destination.
My journey to Jamaica was a catalyst that helped me see beyond the consumption-driven mindset of “more” and “better.” While I would still need to live through those phases to truly understand them, it offered me a glimpse of the unique joy and fulfillment that only comes from living a life that is focused on impacting and helping others.
From Success to Significance
Life is a journey, and each stage is meant to be lived in such a way that with reflection, it can offer valuable lessons. The pursuit of “more,” “better,” and “different” can and will bring temporary satisfaction, but it’s the transition to purpose, where we learn how to use our resources as a force for good, that will create lasting fulfillment and meaning
Winston Churchill once stated:
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
It is a reminder that while earning and accumulating are important and essential parts of life. However we will only discover true meaning and fulfillment when we share with others. Giving—whether it’s time, kindness, resources, or support—doesn’t just change the lives of those we help; it also transforms us.
This Christmas, if you’re searching for the ultimate gift, don’t look under the tree—look within. Life’s most meaningful moments aren’t measured by what we own but by how we show up for others. Find a way to selflessly give your time, your heart, or your resources. Because here’s the secret: When you give, you’re the one who will receive the greatest gift of all. 
As you reflect on this week's topic, stop and ask yourself the following questions:
- What stage of life am I in right now?
Are you focused on acquiring more, improving what you have, setting yourself apart, or finding ways to give back? - What experiences have brought me the most joy?
Think about times when you felt deeply satisfied—not just happy, but fulfilled. - Who or what am I passionate about helping?
Consider the people, causes, or communities that resonate with you.
What legacy do I want to leave behind?
Reflect on how you want to be remembered and what impact you hope to have.
Brad Pedersen
Vijay Krishnan
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