Building Strong Family Bonds: 5 Lessons From Our Adventure in Arizona
Last week, Vijay shared thoughts on the essential ingredients of meaningful relationships: proximity and vulnerability. These two factors, when combined, lead to deeper connections and richer experiences in life. If you want to get caught up you can read more HERE.
Following this theme, Kelly and I recently decided to invest intentional time into our most important relationships by taking a vacation with our children, Bretton, Megan, and Brett’s fiancée, Kristen.
The result? A week full of outdoor adventures, meaningful conversations, and cherished memories that exceeded our expectations and will last a lifetime.
We chose Arizona as our destination because of its diverse landscape, which would allow us to engage in many of the outdoor activities we love. From hiking in the hot and rugged trails of Scottsdale, marveling at the edge of the Grand Canyon, to biking through the majestic scenery of Sedona, every day brought a new adventure.
These experiences were not just about physical challenges but about proximity—being physically present. Whether we were sharing meals after a long day or engaging in deep conversations near a fire under a starry sky; every moment felt intentional, connected, and meaningful.
The Importance of Intentionality in Relationships
Kelly and I are far from perfect parents. We’ve made our fair share of mistakes, but if there’s one thing we’ve done right, it’s making a deliberate effort to invest time and attention into the relationships that matter most.
As Jim Rohn once said, “Memories don’t just happen; they need to be woven together with intentionality.” This trip wasn’t just a vacation; it was an investment into our family and the trajectory for its future.
The fact that our adult children still choose to spend time with us is something we’re incredibly proud of, and we attribute that to years of prioritizing proximity and a willingness to be vulnerable leading to meaningful interactions.
In today's frenetic paced world, most people are busy just being busy, driven by a focus on accumulating and consuming. The truth is that while you can always make more money; you cannot make more time. It is the most valuable non-renewable resource that each of us have.
Understanding this truth at this stage in our lives, has driven us to focus less on our ROI but rather to factor in what is the ROE (Return on Experience). For us, the real wealth in life does not come from collecting stuff but rather from collecting memories and using our precious limited time to build deep and lasting relationships.
Proximity: The First Essential Ingredient
As we journeyed across Arizona, it reinforced to us that proximity is the foundation of any great relationship.
Prior to this trip, we would communicate with our kids almost every day, as we have a group family chat that is actively sharing photos and experiences. However the truth is that you simply cannot build deep and meaningful connections without being physically present.
Proximity is more than just being in the same room; it's about being truly present. There is a subtle difference between having a presence and being fully present. One is simply to physically show up, the other is to invest not only your time but also your attention.
On this trip our notifications were either turned off or we were in places where our reception was poor. As a result we weren’t distracted by work or social media; instead, we focused on each other and the moments we were actively creating together.
Our reward? Not only hundreds of beautiful photographs but deeper conversations and a better understanding of each other that can only come from being fully present. A subtle reminder that people are not problems to be solved but rather mysteries to be discovered.
Vulnerability: The Second Key Ingredient
While proximity lays the groundwork, vulnerability is what deepens the relationship.
During our trip and with many hours invested into exploring, it opened up the perfect environment to have meaningful conversations that went beyond the surface. As we have developed trust with each other, it gave us permission to share our hopes and fears, as well as any challenges that were weighing on our minds.
As a father who was raised by a father who seemed to have it “all figured out” I have often found it hard to open up and be truly vulnerable with my kids. It does not come natural to me however I have since learned it is optimal. If I want to develop deeper relationships, it requires me to lean in and be willing to go first, giving permission to others to do the same. It is the only way to move beyond superficial conversations to something deeper and more substantive.
Vulnerability means being willing to share not just the good of your life and what you are confident about; but also where you have confusion, questions and struggles. It’s about showing your authentic self; flaws and all letting the other person know that you have insecurities about who you are and whether you are doing life the right way.
This trip gave us the space and the time to have challenging but necessary conversations that have not only given us a better understanding of each other but also helped to strengthen our relationships.
The Value of Experiences Over Possessions
In the modern and consumer-driven world we live in, it’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of material wealth.
As a society we are consumed with consumption; an unquenchable desire to have and to do more. However, I have come to learn that true fulfillment doesn’t come from accumulating more. It comes from collecting experiences and creating memories with the people you care about.
This trip to Arizona reinforced that belief for me. The picture you see here is just one of many that we captured, and each one holds a story of shared moments and deeper connections.
We could tally up the cost of the flights, hotel rooms, rental vehicles and meals. However, in looking at this picture, seeing the collective expressions on everyone’s faces and feeling the warm glow in my heart (as my memories transport me back to this moment in time) , if trying to put a value on this experience the only word that comes to mind is ... .priceless.
How to Build Meaningful Relationships: Practical Steps
If you’re looking to build stronger, more meaningful relationships, here are a few practical steps you can take:
- Prioritize Proximity: Be intentional about spending time with the people who matter most to you. It’s not about how much time you spend together, but how you use that time. Make the most of the moments you have.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Don’t be afraid to have challenging conversations. Build trust by going first; share your struggles and be open about your feelings. Vulnerability is what takes a relationship from superficial to significance.
- Focus on Experiences: Instead of focusing on what you can buy, focus on what you can do together. Create opportunities for dedicated shared experiences. While I recommend intentionally planning adventures together, the vast majority of connection points do not need to be fancy. It can be a quick coffee date, a week-long trip or a simple hike.
- Be Present: When you’re with someone, be fully there. Put away distractions and focus on the moment. The more present you are, the more connected you will feel.
Conclusion: Building Wealth Beyond Money
The truth is that life is a terminal event. None of us get out of this experience alive. The things we own and the wealth we accumulate will eventually come to an end. We are temporary stewards of the resources we have.
If you truly want to know that your life has purpose and meaning beyond your lifetime, would it not make sense to invest more of your time in helping shape the relationships that will outlast you?
You can influence and affect your kids which will in turn can shape the following generations to come. There should be no more important and noble investment of our precious life resource of time. At the end of the day, true wealth isn’t measured in dollars or possessions; it’s measured in relationships and experiences.
So, as you think about your own life, ask yourself: Are you investing into the relationships that matter most? You can always make more money, but you can never get back the lost time. Why not make the choice to prioritize proximity, embrace vulnerability, and in so doing collect more memories with the people in your life who matter the most.
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Brad Pedersen
Vijay Krishnan
